lavish & lumber
I like taking blurry, poor photographs of my works in progress. I like the shrinking of a large canvas into something smaller, so I see how it looks like as a whole, not just as fragments while I paint. It might be the art history studying speaking, but I get this feeling of the sublime whenever I work on something, the same way Barnett Newman wanted his gigantic 18 feet pieces to be viewed from a short distance, so that the spectator is immersed and can never grasp the entire image, so that s/he is only overwhelmed with the colour red. Does that sound a little bullshitty to you?
Today I saw my art professor while I was sitting outside of 401 Richmond, eating a burrito, as he was walking up the steps. It's so strange that I'm always caught "nomming" in an unattractive, quirky manner whenever the men I want to impress pass by. Which dampens my spirit a little, knowing that I do feel the need to impress the opposite sex so often in my life. Though I think it's not just the opposite sex I need to impress, it is everyone. But isn't that the case for a lot of artists? Do they not just want approval as well? Yes, your work is lovely, yes your work is provocative, it works, it is quite successful. Is art worthless until someone harvests the worth from it? I'm coming from the "product" view, but of course, the act of creating harbours enough worth. Worth worth worth worth. Psychoanalyze everything.
What ever, it's 2:30 am. I need to sleep, wake up in 5 hours and work on this painting.